Halfling Small

God in heaven. I named him Party Business, as in No Admittance Except on Party Business, and I gotta say, this thing obliterated me. I flew so absurdly to close to the sun, but as my Icarus ass plunged into the sea, my legs wouldn't work well enough to keep be afloat and I drowned. But they always say to die doing what you love.
I was like "blah blah, a small can't be that bad, wah," and then I got my (apparently punk-ass) ass (technically vagina) handed to me. This thing could not call me back in the morning and leave me alone in the hotel room and I would still think longingly of it in the later summer evenings when my growing child asks me about love for the first time.
I want to get him a custom-embroidered velvet pillow to rest upon when he rests between bouts of playing Tetris with my vag. Whoever designed him will be invited to my wedding.